还是会失落

不管怎样我也改变不了他人的想法我又何必那么难过呢。

ks: 有时候试着不去在乎那些烦恼你反而会更幸福开心。

有点认同但就是还是看不开。

算了啦。。不管了。我真的不想被这些东西约束着。

第二天 - 月度只有音乐的日子

天天想你 - 張雨生

當我停立在窗前　你愈走愈遠
我的每一次心跳　你是否聽見
當我徘徊在深夜　你在我心田
你的每一句誓言　迴盪在耳邊

隱隱約約　閃動的雙眼
藏著你的羞怯　加深我的思念
兩顆心的交界　你一定會看見
只要你願意　走向前

天天想你　天天問自己
到什麼時候　才能告訴你
天天想你　天天守住一顆心
把我最好的愛　留給你

累累地闷闷地, 这个时候最容易让emo入侵了。因为没有力气，精神去抗拒。我讨厌这个时候的自己，就因为你有心无力，不能抗拒。睡了一整天，就像个废人般，原本计划的东西都没有实行到。不能按计划行事真的是很讨厌。感觉上时间不足，有点担心。考试压力又来了呗。令人乏味的臭东西，远离我吧压力先生！今天整个人就很不舒服一直到现在也就是凌晨时分，才真的有力气喝个热饮上个网打发下不能专注温书的时间。好想吃汤圆哦，现在是冬至了好想念我的家。傍晚给了妈妈个电话，当时我有气无力地吃着饼干也就是我的晚餐，妈妈告诉我她正烧着饭炒着菜。接着我那不争气的眼泪就这样划了下来。想想如果我在家的话就不用担心餐餐吃什么；如果我在家的话就不用忧心是不是又一个人在宿舍用餐；如果我在家的话就不用吃到那么重味精的食物；如果我在家的话... ..是多么的幸福呀。如果，每次都如果，能不能就实际点啊！不管啦我就是讨厌孤零零的日子就算平时有多么志气的说我不怕。人在心情不好还是生病时埋怨特别多。无言... 天天想你这歌听了数千回，不同的版本不同的歌手我都听了，还是那么的好听。那应该是应景吧。前晚看了以前一直想看的单身男女，吴彦祖和古天乐主演的爱情电影。有几幕还真的是很感动，想想如果这世上如果是真的有十一郎的话我还真的会唱王菲的我愿意。不过就想想就好了吧，那也只不过是个荧幕上反映着人们想要的炯景罢了。不喜欢那些我在意的人对我过度地油腔滑调，不喜欢那种暧昧又拖泥带水的关系。那种自讨苦吃又不认真的感情我宁愿割爱不要！只要加点诚意那感觉多好呀。好吧我还是面对现实点吧，就偶尔有点期望就好了不然失望的机率超高的说。听听Canon Rock Version 发泄下。哈哈哈，好无聊的我。音乐还真的是不能欠缺的生活一个乐趣啊！

*想念那年的一个我*

心情记载

你却步我停步。

你进步我让步。

你害怕我惧怕。

你开心我快乐。

我既求生却也求死。

偏执是我最大的缺点。

最后你忧郁我放弃。

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

更好的我

想让我的生活更加的充实更加的有意义。所以我一直在改变, 更加的进步。

我想我很久没有好好的规划未来了。经常会因为周围的事而困扰自己。

*低潮*

为何要那么看不开还是不开心的让我的细胞死光光呢。我没那个必要吧。

好吧，林小姐！是时候咯！为自己加油打气！再接再厉！忘掉过去，放下放下。

哈哈哈。为未来的我干杯... =.='''' 

那种幸福得却很吸引我，但是这种东西真的会像毒药般要了我的命。认命吧，或许我的福分是更超越的所以我要等待。等待那个愿意为我勇敢，也能够让我依偎，互相寄托，并一起努力的伙伴。

一个人没什么不好的，有时也是种自由。就让我多享受这种自由吧。我还有家人朋友呀。干嘛那么悲啊。> < 我的人生还有很多很多的事要完成呀怎么可以那么轻易的就被其中一项打败了呢。一路上我不停的学习着，或许我会做错决定或许我会走错路。可是如果不是错了又怎么会更进步呢。得不到谅解没关系。人活着就是预料中会犯错然后再纠正嘛。对自己要有信心。不要用别人的尺来测量自己还是怀疑自己。人往往不会看见自己的缺点，又是要通过某些人某些事来得到。比如说：就好像我们不会知道自己吃完饭后其实牙齿塞着菜渣，越是要通过朋友的发现还是路人的取笑后你才会发觉。有时我们是需要被提拔。而有时面对困难时还真的是不想面对，可是这路上如果我连自己都不帮谁还会帮我呢。没有东西是理所当然的。我们都是为了某个目的而活着。

有人是为了开心；有人是为了满足；有人是为了欲望；有人是为了掩护；有人是为了贪婪；

有人是为了爱。那我呢？

当你不把任何事当成理所当然时，你会莫名的感觉其实你的生活有很多不可思议。因为你开始懂得学会珍惜以及感谢你所拥有的。家人真的是我人生中一个很温暖的部分。日后又有谁会加入呢。

生活开心就好嘛。

就像我们一样不顾形象的为猪而乐。哈哈哈。

*第一年我们一起の暑假*

Part time Job

Job Job Job.

=

Fun Fun Fun.

There were 3 Jobs in my life so far..

learned lots, appreciate the chance been given by my friends..

Three of the job was out of my plan and also my expectation..

I do enjoy the working time even it's bit tired, and rushing all the way..

for the 1st part time job in my life, It is being a boutique shop worker.

It's a good experience as well, working there with my classmate.

after clean up the shop, check store, It's time for us to play around, chit chatting..etc

but now we were not that close as last time, I am quite miss the moment all we spent through.

anyhow.. no matter what happened,
at least it been a sweet memory as part of my mind that in my study life.
*memory*

  

yea.. come to the 2nd job, It is being a promoter for the new product launch.

I need to wear like a nurse, stand for 10hours long by the way intro the product.

working with my partner, xiao wei. which a funny girl who like movie lots.
1st day, there was an uncle, I guess he was around 70 years old.
he come to me and asking for more information,
after explain to him, he told me that,
:"hold on ya, I am waiting my women coming"/ 偶阁女人
*it's in Cantonese actually*
the way he voice out is kind of confident with smiling face..
my heart was melting at the moment. maybe others might think it is nothing.
but if you was in the situation, you can even felt the love they having..
It's kind of confirm, kind of love, kind of proud. sweet dou...
during the working days, I was staying my classmate's sweet home.
I like the feeling of home, no matter it is mine or not. It just simply warm me.
my friend and her brother fetch me to work and also back home after work.
arw...the feeling of waiting people coming fetch me is so lovely and happy.
I do enjoy with her family in the weekend, we travel around, eat lots..
besides, I do having a women talk with a gang of cute auntie.my friend.
plus a little chubby boy_ah bii
even I was exhausted but I still join them for 3rd round..
*crazy*
 two words - LOVELY  。JOYFUL

*the center one was our customer* lol

one week after that, my ex house-mate was asking me to join her to working at IT fair.

umm... It's quite interest me, plus it is a camera company.
yawn.. I am INTERESTED -- LOL
I rejected another job invite, and join her.
CANON - Delighting you always
IT fair was 3days event located at IPOH Stadium.
working for camera company, of course I learn lots as well.
they sell compact camera, digital, SLR, video cam, lens...etc
there are Nikon, Olympus, Canon, Fujifilm, Sony...etc
I have to memorize down all different price from different model and different brand.
besides that, what function of each camera, what specialized on it. how to function it..etc
before working, I note down all the details, 1st time so hardworking for job. lol
1st day I still confuse and keep refer to the paper I prepared. It two pages full @@
 after half day time, I can even memorize down 3/4,
so proud of it. final exam can as this jau awesome. zz
my colleague is from Penang, they were total in 5 persons.
some still studying as us, and one of the guy was having 4.0 in USM somemore.
seriously have to "face wall and think twice" (面壁思过)
other than that, there was me, my friend and her classmate.
the working time was so relax and happy.
We do serious and hardworking when serving customer.
but We also play hard when there are no customer.
after that, I miss them actually.
*funny apps by Ipad*

Bernice-Janessa-Vivian-Bee Kuan

LOL

after work, 3 gals were super excited cause is time to MEAL
we reached ipoh tong sui gai, and ordered lots of food..
at the end we can't finish it @@ hahaha.
phew... once we reach my friend's home.
3 of us lying on the bed with air-condition room.
and - FACEBOOK
friend's mom keep come in and ask us to bath..
we just like, alright..going geh lar.. more awhile and awhile...haha
auntie is a kind person who very IN plus open mind.
she keep ask me add her in facebook when my friend not with me.
she is funny sometime, just like my mom.. lovely women again =)
everytime when I done my bath, I straight away sleep die like a pig.
as I always the last one to bath, and they actually waiting me for chat around.
but I always spoil their plan, no matter how they stop me to my sleeping way.
due to extremely exhausted I seriously can't feel anything but sleep.hahaha
-home sweet home-
I don't feel like to leave the house when it's time to back kampar.

*lazy cat after work, edited by Vivian. CUTEzzz*
credit to sweetie Lai

ah Bee's spirit world

Bee's cheer up moment again...

_sharing & learning_ 

Try not to dislike but appreciate.

Try not to regret but live harder.

Try not to judge but understand.

Try not to except but accept.

Try not to hold but let go.

Try not to escape but fix.

Try not to ask but give.

我很幸福

我 很 。。。

it's been long long time I away my bloggie here.

but I am here now for tmr brand new me =D

what drives your life? asked by Rick.

erhnmmm.... it taken me so damn long time for thinking about it. 

driven by a problem? pressure? deadline?

OR

painful memory? haunting fear? unconscious belief?

alright.. in short! just don't allow your past to control your future.

and yea, we're the product of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.

The bible says, 

"To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do."

So, past is past, nothing will change it. Don't hurting yourself by your bitterness.

whatever is that. just learn from it, and then let it go.

Now, Give Meaning to Life. =)

so should remove, delete, erase, throw out, change 

whatever meaningless, unhealthy, etc..

okie.... now onward..

I gotta say good bye to my ugly dark circle,

even I might take a damn long time for remove it

.................................

and then... for my damn pimple.

please don't stay with me > < you make me look messy. -OUT-

blablablablabla..

I am not a good planner but I like to plan for my greatest life..always!! =P

I like to eat, play, busy, travel, sing, dance, work, movie, freedom, music, celebration, hang out, cry, be simple, smile, laugh, act young, act cute, act cool, dreaming, crazy, study, capture, kacau, sport, etc.....

I love my cutest family, friends and anyone that who know me well.

I like my life, I enjoy my life, I love myself.

It's just because..

I am who am I for a REASON. 

It so call

 ❤ Love Life ❤

❤❤❤     ❤❤❤

 

Jia You Jia You

A Bright New Day

just have FOCUS on it, for having an impact life

All about week 2 of blessed Oct.

A hot nice tea before sleep is my habit recently. It is kind of fruit tea that from 
✿✿✿ Cameron High Land.✿✿✿

today choices >>> Exotic

One of the favor - mango plus pineapple

Next I gonna try ... strawberry plus kiwi... it must taste good =)

Recently I was seriously addicted in Running Man. It’s a Korea entertainment programme.

By the way watching the programme, I found that I had been long long time forgot how to laugh  and laugh loudly...  I like laughing, I like smiling, I like the happy moment in every single day. It is so sweet that warming my heart, relaxing my mind, releasing my tiredness .. 
btw I am seriously very noisy when watching running man  > < 
Just be myself, yea I am the crazy and noisy BerNice =D

★ This was my 1st try on lighting capture with Nikon 3100 by using tripod on last semester. 
It look nice right...hmmm ^^

Last week I played lots sport… I thought I was super girl.lol… after marathon run, badminton, squash, jogging, futsal, basketball… hmm… I missed up ping pong~ ==’’ What’s wrong to me and so active in sport suddenly? Hmm… Actually I just like the feeling of sweating during sport~ Last semester cause of lacking time I seldom go for sport, this semester I must used my free time to do whatever I want to. BUT~ I can’t play over lar… muscle so pain leh this few days...isk.   

I felt stress so hardly. Trying to run away from those problems. But I was failed after pretending so long… Fail doesn't sound bad somehow..At-least in the end I get to find my way by the way of standing up, 
sometime release out is better than keep it.. perhaps...
thanks God and all the angel around me =)

one of my sweetie - Pc, told me : 

“no worries, 就像你在赛跑, 这个是一个栏杆, 跨越它就没事了放大放远来看只是一小部分的事.’’

sometime I am just too emotional and over care/worry *people so call it as think too much* on certain thing which also can known as "degil" in malay.. I also realize that when you're getting mad you seriously can't control yourself and think critically.. So let's count from 1 to 30 when you're fail to control your anger or felt suck.. It's might work if you seriously concentrate on counting. listen to my favor song is another way for relaxing my mind. or you might watch RUNNING MAN ^^ haha..

people always say...

心小了，小事就大了；心大了，大事都小了

大其心，容天下之物；虚其心，爱天下之善；平其心，论天下之事；定其心，应天下之变

Self-loving capture before sleep.. Haha..
seem like back to secondary school time.. damn "self-loved"

During weekend I watched two movie, both is about love.. 夏日乐悠悠 and 白蛇传.

❤ L-O-V-E ❤

what is love, can it long lasting as the princess and prince story ? how about when the feels of love been changed, bored and go bad or can say as it must go bad at the end.. what to do for this...

In the world, no matter what classes, what status, what races, what level of human..

we love and we need love

sometime we are giving love an image that we doesn't realize.. The image that we create to full fill our desire in heart that was not realistic.. We doesn't love the people or thing, but we love the image of the people or thing that through out our imagination.. As when a gal suddenly fall to a guy that who playing piano on the stage, cause of the talent cause of the situation cause of the "image" we assume or imagine in our mind.. We thought the guy must be very gentle, cool, cute or whatever. But we don't even know actually the guy was a raper, and when we get to realize the truth "behind the scene" we will go crazy or even sad like the world gonna end soon. perhaps... so remember refresh our mind as we refresh we computer when we gonna make some important decision or when our brain stucking as when the virus lagging our computer.. critical thinking... maybe..

And we can always find this when a pair of couple broke up with the reason as "I found that we are not suitable or I was not the one you want or I can't give what you want" 

So are you actually know what is LOVE??  LOL...
therefore, people always say love is blind?? including me... 
In a sense, maybe you might say all the fault of MK SSH Syndrome 
(a kind of hormone that control our brain in feeling)
F the rest... but it seriously depend on -YOU-

yea.. sometime love in relationship not really must be so reasonable or critically, 

sometime love can be unusual, or even lost control with craziness, 

but please be responsible toward the consequence of your choices.. 

Noble words for me in this two weeks
人之所以痛苦那是因为一直追求着错误的东西。
独立坚强。放下执着。忘掉过去。相信未来。
and SmILe =D

★ - End -  ★

Weekend of week 3

The 2nd weekend I been kampar.

Most of the classmate and friends were from Perak state..

and most of them are member of PBSM

( Pasti Balik Setiap Minggu )

sometime it's quite bored being here..

urm... how will be in this week??

yea.. It's RunNat!! 

run for the nation

all the best =D

the day after Oct4

It's wednesday ^ ^

today was my holidays!! ohyeah!! 

broke the rules of sickness ==''

cause of the cheese powder, had ate french fries in mcd, 

btw my main meal was bubur ayam mcd and hot milo..

so forgive myself once, since being so healthy recently =)

hope faster get recover from sick, turn on anti-virus button!!

mistake x1

今天既然被乱了阵脚。笨哦。

哈哈。。

好啦。。记过一次！> <'' 

谢谢我地朋友我地家人。

有欢乐有泪水的一天。^^v

圆圆大大的脸蛋是我的特征。

 对..照片的她就是我 =)

十月份就这么静悄悄的到来了. 一个我爱的十月. 只因为它就是那个经常让我有喜有悲的月份；一个拥有自己想法又时而矛盾的女孩地诞生月季。每年的我都莫名的期待着这一个月季的来临。这也成为了我的习惯，不管它将会是个怎样的月季，我都会对它充满欢喜地盼望。而它的到来也告诉了我这个年头就要来到尾声了，我最爱的节日-圣诞也越来越靠近我了。这时候我会一一的反省这个年头里我做了什么，又去了哪里，学习了什么，而我现在又站在哪里呢...etc

真心的感谢爸妈带我来到这个花花世界，给了我一个良好学习成长的环境，怎样跌倒怎样从中学习站起来。亲朋戚友也可以称得上是我的良师既是陪伴我生活的伙伴。

让我知道面对意外不要稀奇也不要紧张害怕。勇敢的去面对那考验着我的问题，也要坦然接受那改变不了或解决不了的问题。这就是生活，生活的本质，而我就活在它的过程中。

学习-它让我更坚持，加油-它让我更勇敢，害怕-它让我更进步。

快乐难过-它只是一种感受。而相信-它让我继续生存下去。

爱-是我的生活粮食。

❤❤❤ ❤❤❤ 

我就是那个十月份的♎ 天平宝贝。

接下来的日子我要更用心更加把劲!!

baka bernice.

One Week ago, a stupid girl jatuh ke longkang. 

after that she sat on the floor alone and crying there like a baka.

lol

after that I was realize that the different between

the so call

-current style- and -old fashion style-

of human being.

 when this issues happen....

N years ago..

people will ask : omg..are you okay?? why will as this..pain?? and blakblakblak

nowadays..

people will say: wow..good lar. how smart are you..and then keep laugh out loud.

sigh... ==''

after one week, it become as this..it's ugly... =(

no more next time. alright. 

refresh

I'm gonna give myself a period of time to think about me, myself in order to have a clear way..
I have no idea sometime, wish someone guide me along. but I need go through myself.
even it take time. don't wanna fool around and waste my time.. wanna be more greater..
influence from other and outsider make me lost myself and my own way..
I gonna get me back, is time to do something BERNICE!!
there will be a list of my suck habit I guess..lolx
I'm going to be greater me. thnx moon =)

p/s: 怕被伤害的人，永远抓不到真正的幸福；
        怕伤害别人的人，永远都会被别人有意无意的伤害. (quoted by other)

        Be brave and steady in being yourself always. 

I am so blessed..always ♥♥

- Constant as the star's above..always knows that you're loved -

♪Jessica Brown♪

阴天。

I am not in mood recently. I dislike the feeling. I hate it. I am down. =(

where was my ear, eye, hand and mouth.. 

talk to me, listen to me, hug me tightly, looking me in your eye.

I miss my brown color bear bear that which staying at Kampar now =(

学友教我怎样消灭烦恼.

苦恼倒不如说声笑笑

生活不要太多钞票,多了就会带来困扰.

过重的背包,过度的暴躁什么都不要.

一起呼叫没有烦恼除了呼吸其他不重要.

除了现在什么都忘掉. 

心事像羽毛越飘越逍遥.

烦恼什么烦恼..除了心跳没有大不了.

人们不该去羡慕飞鸟.

世界比我大把自我缩小.

把自己的当做跳蚤谁也不值得骄傲.

人间疾苦知多少,花开花落知多少.不了把一切看成玩笑.

吵吵闹闹像g大调.假装什么都不知道.

过重的背包,过度的暴躁什么都不要.

不和谁比较不和谁争吵.

过份思考庸人自扰.

别庸人自扰,一切轻于鸿毛.

才能消灭烦恼..一起呼叫什么都不要. 

deal or not deal.

Gonna light up my way =)

mono-day

awake in the morn. it's kind of bored. 

don't feels like to log in facebook as usual.. lay on the bed.. 

8am... 9am.. 10am... till noon... 

alright, room started get warm..gonna wake up from the bed..swt..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

nothing to do today.

went to sister room, checking desktop document...

hmm.... I found "them"

it's my secondary school life..

how colorful it's.

------flash back------

during form 5 - the short hair girl was me

the 1st expression come to mind was..wow.. I had been little gal before.

NEXT

my classmate. the trip. 

Coming On will be the SPORT DAY

-PURPLE TEAM-

The Purple Team.

I am the only Girl. =)

Alice - The Chinese girl with Indian Sari.

They just like my son, daughter.  

.................................lots and lots.. 

lazy comes to mind..lolx..

alright.. stop here today =)